Surviving Corporate America: How Therapy Saved My Life

By Shayla Johnson-Bunion

Here’s how I survived being a Black Woman in Corporate America.

1. Therapy- This was easily the BEST decision I ever made in my life. For 9 months I saw a therapist bi-weekly. I felt validated, encouraged, challenged, and supported. I learned new coping skills that helped me in every aspect of my life. I learned to let go of what “I thought” people thought about me (read that again).

2. Build a Tribe– Building a tribe of people that can listen without judgement or criticism has been a lifesaver. This allowed me to have grace for family/friends that could not to provide me with emotional support but could be there for me in other ways. My tribe is honest, they’re great listeners, and they offer solutions. They don’t just let me vent, they hold me accountable. One of them got me into therapy.

3. Journaling– Get a good journal to help you keep track of your personal goals. It’s also good to journal when you are upset or having a struggle day. Journaling allows you to vent your feelings on paper and gives you clarity on how you are really feeling. This is very therapeutic because it’s a safe place to release those feelings.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries- I had to examine what behaviors I was no longer going to accept. If I wasn’t going to accept them, then I needed to do something about them. In the words of my therapist (she actually said this) “You need to shit or get off the pot!” I saw her for 8 months and constantly complained without making any changes. Once I set boundaries, I immediately saw results.

5. Read The 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz- This book gives you all the tools you need to be a better communicator and a better person. Here is a snippet of what the 4 agreements are. 1). Always do your best 2). Don’t take things personal 3). Be impeccable with your words 4). Don’t make assumptions. I could’ve saved myself so much time and money had I applied this sooner!

6. Change Your Environment- Remember when I said I didn’t want anyone telling me to leave? That decision is yours to make, but there are other ways to change your environment. You can change your outlook, your daily routines, your attitude, move to another department, or change jobs. Ultimately, I did all those things. With each change, things got better. When I changed my outlook and attitude, I made better connections and decisions. Soon, opportunities opened that I otherwise would’ve missed.

7. Self-Care- Take good care of yourself. One co-workers told me: “No one deserves your friendship, love, support, empathy, and care more than YOU!” So, grab that coffee before work, take that trip (or nap), treat yourself to that massage, read that book, and go on that date! When we feel our best, we do our best. You know what? Go ahead and wear that fancy outfit to work. You may see the stares and hear the comments but remember the 4 agreements. Once you learn not to take things personal, nothing can block your magic!

1. You walk on eggshells at work.

2. You cry in your car before going into your job.

3. You feel anxious ALL THE TIME.

4. You second guess everything that you do.

5. You fear that you could be fired over small mistakes.

6. You don’t trust anyone.

7. You start people-pleasing your supervisors and people in upper management.

8. You isolate and avoid co-workers.

9. Your relationships outside of work start to suffer.

10. You experience physical symptoms when you think about work and/or when you go into work. These symptoms may also go away when you clock out.