Surviving Corporate America

By Shayla Johnson-Bunion

Imagine being a Black Woman in cooperate America trying to be authentic and wanting to fit in. Now picture trying to thrive in your Black Girl Magic and receiving death stares from your White counterparts as if your magic offends them. If this sounds familiar, then you know what its like being a minority in the workplace.

One of the reasons I wanted to create this therapy space is because of how difficult that experience was for me. So how did I know I wasn’t being sensitive or paranoid? Well, because my co-workers were bold enough to let me know what they thought (passive-aggressively, of course). I was constantly under a microscope every time I walked through the door.

Everything was questioned or challenged from my professional skills down to my wardrobe. Any time I dressed up or wore something new they made sure to call it out. “Oh, you must live at home with your parents?” “Is that bag real?” “What do your parents do for a living?” In other words, how dare you have the audacity and confidence to not be in the box I assumed you’re in. (Why in the hell were they trying to figure out my parents’ financial status in a staff meeting anyway?)

Pettiness aside, the real issue for me was the racism, sexism, and daily microaggressions. I didn’t feel safe to bring up these issues due to fear of backlash and being labeled as “difficult.” Any attempts I made to speak my mind or claim a seat at the “dreaded” table, they quickly let me know (passive aggressively) that my voice was not welcomed.

My ideas were not heard, I was talked over, my inputs disregarded, and the good deeds that I done were challenged. This is starting to sound like a bad relationship, right? So why didn’t I leave? The first few years at this company I absolutely LOVED my job and co-workers. Then something dramatic happened and things changed. My mentor and  co-workers that I respected had left. There were major changes and a new tone (based in fear) was set. Over time I started to feel alone, rejected, unheard, unsupported, and micromanaged.

Eventually my physical and mental health began to decline. The rejection I felt at work, I projected onto my relationships with friends and family. I was not aware that I was doing this at the time. I was hypersensitive to anything resembling the stress I felt at work.  Naturally, I began to shut down and isolate from everyone. It even became hard to talk those closest to me. I was a shell of myself. I now realize that I was subjecting myself to some weird form of emotional and psychological abuse. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Despite all of this, I managed to find support from two women at my job that uplifted me (they were also going through the same thing). Some days I didn’t have to say anything, they just knew. It was difficult to talk to my family and friends. I didn’t want to hear their advice and I certainly didn’t want anyone to tell me “Why don’t you just leave?”  It was too painful to keep explaining what I was going through.

There was no way describe the drama, microaggressions, the company politics, and still loving the work I do. I was still holding on the “idea” of this company. It was like being in a bad relationship that started off with an exciting romance. As you can guess, I eventually hit my breaking point. I had to make a change for my physical health, mental health, and my family.

Here’s how I survived being a Black Woman in Corporate America.  Stay tuned for part two…