Life After Break-Up: The Divorce Series

By Khamaria Wright

Valentine’s Day is over, and we've seen all the love posts, the messages, balloons, date nights, and flowers. For the most part we only see people talk about all the “good things” that come along with relationships whether it’s on television or social media. But we rarely see anything about how to cope after a break up, or how to heal from a divorce. Break-Ups are hard and many of us have been there at some point. Going through a divorce or break up can send us into the stages of grief (see image below). We don’t usually get in relationships thinking they will one day end.

A break-up or divorce can be defined as a situational crisis. A situational crisis is when something unexpected comes along and interrupts your normal functioning. Divorce is a hard subject because it impacts your emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual state. I think the hardest part of any break up/divorce is figuring out “How do I move forward?” I was taught that after a break up I should block, delete, and keep it pushing. But In reality what does that really do? Is that even realistic?

After a break-up/divorce you must take a moment to pause and figure out what your needs are. Generally, there are feelings of shame, blame, and regret over the people we have dated/married. There may also be feelings of guilt for putting up with something that you know you shouldn’t have. My therapist once told me “dating is a great way to learn what you want and don’t want in a spouse, or partner”.

I learned we all make mistakes and we get an opportunity to do things differently. Most importantly you get to re-write your story. Stay tuned for the next post...

This series will focus on Life After Break-ups, the Impact on Families, and the Healing Process.