Knowing Who You Are

By Khamaria Wright

“Love yourself girl or nobody will” – J. Cole

I’ve always saw myself as confident in everything I’ve done. Everyone knew me as the girl who “accomplished it all” and “has it all together”. I thought I had to succeed in everything because everyone assumed “she knows what she’s doing”.

As I got older, I realized that people put me on a pedestal because I worked so hard to get everything I have and wanted. However, that didn’t mean I really had it all together. I was seriously dating, getting into my career, and going through health changes that affected me mentally and emotionally. I thought I knew who I was until real life experiences started happening. In my early 20’s I struggled with “who I was” vs “what people expected me to be”.

It wasn’t until I went to therapy (at 24 years old) that I gained some clarity on who Khamaria really is. I never thought I would be so transparent to share my personal struggles with you all. I hope my story can help anyone reading this to overcome these obstacles when you feel your self-worth and identity being challenged. This next 3 blog series will focus on

Knowing Who You Are in relation to your Health and Body, Your Career, and Your relationships.

Here’s how I realized it was time for some Self-Reflection:

1. Doubting myself- Second guessing became an unhealthy habit. You should always be confident in who you are and in your decisions. You won’t be able to make decisions by yourself all the time. It’s okay to lean on your support system to help you when you are unsure of yourself.

2. People Pleasing– I became a people pleaser to those around me. I felt that I had to be the “perfect example”. Now I know that it’s okay to make mistakes because that’s how we learn and grow.

3. Comparing myself to others- I literally had to stay off social media for a while when I started having thoughts of “If they did then I…,” or “I need to be like….”. Listen to me say this, LOG OFF or take a break from social media. It is not worth it.

4. Lack of Boundaries- I lacked boundaries in relationships and in my career. I allowed people to walk all over me because I didn’t know what I needed. If you find yourself in this place it is time to start putting your needs first.

5. Isolation– If you find yourself isolating more and suppressing your thoughts, then it is time to seek help. You can’t do it all by yourself. It’s ok to ask for what you need

Stay tuned for next weeks Topic: Knowing Who you are in Relationships.