2020: Setback or Reset?

By Khamaria Wright

2020 has been a difficult year for most of us. As we move closer to finally kissing 2020 goodbye (thank God), I thought about what our readers needed the most. I know my mental health has been challenged every step of the way this year. One word I think about as I reflect on 2020, is transition. Many of us have experienced a lot of ups and downs this year. Relationships have been tested, careers have been lost or challenged, the election has driven us crazy, and some of us lost loved ones. I can honestly say I have experienced all of the above. 2020 has allowed me to re-evaluate things in my life and has forced me to take a personal inventory of myself. I think the hardest part thing about transition is fear of the unknown and uncertainty. As someone who has experienced a lot of transition this year, I felt compelled to share how I got through this tough time in my life. I think the most important thing is understanding how to manage our own emotions during times of uncertainty.

I’m used to being someone who is always working on something, always on the go, and checking all the boxes. I thought I had everything together for the most part in my life. When Covid-19 hit, I slowly began to realize that what I thought I had “together” would gradually fall apart. I had a concrete set of goals for how I planned on advancing my career, but suddenly everything was pulled right out from under me. I thought I was doing everything right in life and then I was hit with the unthinkable. I lost my job. I became very confused, sad, and depressed. I even questioned God in the moments of uncertainty. I didn’t realize that losing my job would affect my identity this much. I was hopeless and I felt that I lost control. I thought I had failed. As things continued to unfold, I even lost some close relationships. I must say 2020 forced me to sit and think about who I am and who I want to be.

This year is the first time in my life that I haven’t worked on obtaining a goal that distracted me from getting to know myself. It’s crazy the amount of processing I did with my friends, family, and therapist. I now see how much the transitions this year pushed me to dig deeper into my own wants and desires. 2020 required me to let go of “checking the boxes” and to live life the way I want. I gained awareness that career, relationship, and material goals aren’t the only things that can make you happy. Instead, I learned what happiness looks like and what choosing me first really means. I also learned the importance of patience, timing, and moving to the beat of my own drum. I was able to make decisions on my own without the approval of others (those of you who are people-pleasers like me know what I mean).

I don’t know why we put so much pressure on ourselves to follow through with the high expectations of our peers, society, and social media. Can I have goals? Absolutely. Do they all have to be obtained quickly? Hell no. I have the privilege to just embrace everything I have accomplished thus far. Am I done with my self-inventory yet? Not at all. I am in therapy still trying to figure things out for myself. What I will say, is that I am finding out who I am and who I want to be. This year forced me to sit down, reality check myself, and most importantly RESET. For those of you who still haven’t figured it all out, that’s okay. You have time. Transition is hard, but I am learning that it is worth it (even when it’s unexpected). 2020 isn’t a setback, but a RESET.

Here are some things that helped me get through my transition: